please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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