yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
