i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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