it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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