I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
