When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
