sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think my moral compass just broke
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
