think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
