On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i think i just lost a toe
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
