There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
being pregnant is like rehab
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize