there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize