I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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