Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
