You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
