I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My feet surprised me
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