Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
