your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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