Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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