Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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