just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
