So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize