dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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