Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize