what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
