so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
