Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize