Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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