your room smells of hookers.
And success
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
