Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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