I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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