Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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