i already hear my dad disowning me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
