Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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