How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
