how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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