Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
