Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
