Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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