Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
