Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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