You don't have asthma, your pregnant
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
