whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
