Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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