and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
