It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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