he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
