i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
