We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
