Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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