just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
