alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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