I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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