Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
