i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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