I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
