U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
