Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
