There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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