you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
