And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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