i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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